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40 KB Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:23 No.1569027  
I managed to introduce Statler and Waldorf as NPCs in my D&D campaign (which focuses on arena challenges), and they already pissed off one of the players with their comments.

"Well, that fight was different."
"Did you like it?"
"No."
"Then it wasn't different."

After a fumble...
"Well, you gotta give him credit"
"Why's that?"
"He's gonna keep on trying until he succeeds."

"I call that a medium maneuver."
"A medium maneuver?"
"Yeah. It wasn't rare, and it definitly wasn't well done!"

Never did stealing quotes feel so good. I'm still waiting until one of them snaps and shoots an arrow at them (which I'll obviously count as a miss, after which I can throw more quotes at them)
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:24 No.1569038
>>1569027
OH HOHOHO

Seriously, you win good sir.
>> ---===~[Post Content Grader]~===--- [Has Graded 10,251+ Posts] Last Board Graded: /a/ !sGg4wWUHlU 04/20/08(Sun)17:24 No.1569041
I lol'd far too hard at the third one
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:26 No.1569047
DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:27 No.1569064
>>1569027
op, if i asked you for sex and 10 babies would you be offended?
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:28 No.1569069
i love you, OP
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:28 No.1569072
Very good, OP. Very good.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:29 No.1569075
>>1569027

>one of them snaps and shoots an arrow at them

"Looks like that boy was trying to make a point."
"Shame it went right over our heads!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:29 No.1569077
"What would you call that?"
"Well, I wouldn't call it an attack!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"I hate spells with a long casting time."
"Why's that?"
"It makes this fight take longer."
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"I wish I didn't succeed my Spot check."
"Why?"
"Now I actually have to see the fight."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:30 No.1569085
Introduce them as the Governor, Constable, and Mayor, not to mention head of the Guards of Unterstadt.

Get your PC's arrested, taunt them as much as you want.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:31 No.1569091
"You old fool! You slept through the fight!"
"Who's the fool? You watched it!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:32 No.1569099
"There's nothing like good combat."
"And that was nothing like good combat."
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:35 No.1569113
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
"I don't think a beholder could see anything beautiful there either."
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"These bracers of spell resistance are worthless."
"Why?"
"This fight isn't magical."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:39 No.1569128
"I wonder if that bard can sing tenor."
"Tenor?"
"Yeah, ten or eleven miles away."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:40 No.1569131
So saving these to use against my players.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:40 No.1569134
"Ouch! Another one bites the dust!"
"He isnt the only thing here that bites!"
"DOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:41 No.1569143
"That Paladin should lose his deity's protection."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because it can't be legal to make someone watch a fight like that."
DOOOHOHOHOHO!
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:43 No.1569151
"Looks like that Wizard cast Sleep down there."
"I wish he'd cast it up here too!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:45 No.1569166
"The priest just made those skeletons flee!"
"Not so mindless after all!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:47 No.1569181
If a player has a gnome character:

"Is that a gnome or an illusion?"
"That'd be an illusion."
"How do you know?"
"Nobody plays gnomes."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:50 No.1569199
>>1569181
>If a player has a gnome character:

"I sure wish 4th Edition would get here."
"Why is that?"
"We wouldn't have to put up with that gnome!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:50 No.1569202
*groan*
"What's wrong with you?"
"It's either indigestion or this fight. I hope it's indigestion."
"Why?"
"Indigestion will get better!"
"DOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:50 No.1569206
"You know what would be great if we were mages?"
"Yeah. We could summon better combatants."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:51 No.1569221
>>1569113
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
"Thank God I'm blind."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:53 No.1569232
"Hey, that neckbeard down there must be a barbarian."
"Nothing but mindless rage!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:53 No.1569235
"Finally, we've seen a good match"
"Does that mean we can go home now?"
"DOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:54 No.1569238
"Hey look, it's a half-elf."
"What's the other half?"
"Not good at fighting, that's for sure."
"Dohohohohohohoho!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:54 No.1569240
"That's a load of bull down there"
"No, those are just druids."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:54 No.1569243
"I liked that last fight"
"What did you like about it?"
"It was the last fight!"
"DOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:54 No.1569244
"Fighting was his one natural role."
"Too bad he rolled a natural one!"

DOHOHOHOHO
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:54 No.1569245
>>1569238
Shit, why is this so funny?
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:55 No.1569249
     File :1208728529.jpg-(33 KB, 300x350, henson_tms_season_1.jpg)
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It's time to cast protections
And draw on Holy Might!
It's time to roll Init
for another arena fight!
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:55 No.1569250
"Did somebody step on a duck?"
"The wizard's familiar just died."
"DOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:56 No.1569256
"You know the funny thing about monks?"
"What?"
"They can beat off people with both hands."
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:56 No.1569258
"I dont envy that Mind Flayer"
"Why?"
"He isn't going to have a lot to flay down there!"
DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:56 No.1569261
"Have you ever thought there might be life after death?"
"Every time I leave this arena!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:57 No.1569262
>>1569256
"You know what makes them so talented too?"
"Yes. They can beat off people with their feet too"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:58 No.1569270
Archived.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:58 No.1569273
>>1569258
"Oh no, that mind flayer is attacking!"
"No wait, he's going back. Guess it couldn't find anything it wanted."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:58 No.1569274
"Look at that Fighter go!"
"Yeah, I've never seen one run away so fast."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:59 No.1569275
JIM HENSON IS DEAD.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)17:59 No.1569276
"So they blew up half the arena"
"At least they blew up the right half."
"Theirs!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:00 No.1569283
"Look at him run!"
"Yeah, you'd think this was the 40k RPG."
"Why's that?"
"He's a real bolter!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:00 No.1569284
"I think we're inside an atropal."
"Why do you say that?"
"This fight is an abomination and it'll be the death of me"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:00 No.1569286
"Looks like hes really suffering down there."
"Not as much as we're suffering up here!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:00 No.1569288
>>1569274

"He's a real credit to his race."
"What race is that?"
"The 100-meter dash!"
"DOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:01 No.1569295
"Think we should call it a night?"
"Might as well. I certainly wouldn't call it a fight!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:02 No.1569298
"That fighter down there has some flaws."
"I thought you could only have two."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:02 No.1569299
This thread made me lol so hard.

Bravo, OP.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:03 No.1569306
"Every week this arena looks better to me."
"Every week your eyesight gets worse."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:03 No.1569309
"It'd be nice if that Tarrasque showed up."
"Yeah, so it can put us out of our misery."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:04 No.1569311
"So, is that Paladin lawful good?"
"I don't know about lawful, be he sure isn't good."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:04 No.1569315
"Just when I thought that fight was terrible something wonderful happened."
"What?"
"It ended."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:06 No.1569323
"This battle is pointless."
"Yeah; whoever wins, we lose."
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:07 No.1569329
"There's something wrong with the acoustics up here."
"What, can't you hear what's going on down there?"
"Every sound!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:07 No.1569330
"Ohh! Oh lord, that Fighter's taking a beating this fight."
"I can't feel sorry for him."
"Why's that?"
"We take a beating EVERY fight!"
DOHOHOHOHOHO
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:08 No.1569332
"The mage just cast magic missile."
"What's so magical about it?"
"It might just hit something."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:08 No.1569333
"I just had this wonderful dream, Waldorf."
"What was it about?"
"The fight had ended."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:10 No.1569351
"Who do you think is the worst combatant?"
"Am I only allowed to choose one?"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:11 No.1569358
"Amazing! Everyone down there rolled a natural one!"
"All on Perform checks!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:11 No.1569364
"Someone should call the city watch."
"Why?"
"Subjecting innocent people to fights this bad has to be illegal!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:12 No.1569367
"Our lowest stat would probably be Wisdom."
"After all, we're still here!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:13 No.1569380
>>1569077
>>1569113
>>1569181
>>1569240
>>1569244
These are made of fail.

The rest of this thread is epic win!!!!!
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:13 No.1569384
"That druid's quarterstaff is glowing."
"Don't worry. It'll go limp in a few seconds."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:15 No.1569408
"I wish this encounter was taking place in Undermountain."
"Yeah, then we couldn't see it!!"
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:16 No.1569416
>>1569284
Oh lawd, I lol'd
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:18 No.1569430
"I know what was wrong with that last fight."
"What?"
"It's the arena. The seats face the pit!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:20 No.1569446
"That looks like Weeaboo Fightan Magic to me"
"The Desert Wind style, isn't it?"
"No, he's just flaming."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:20 No.1569453
"I tried taking medicine before this fight."
"And?"
"Didn't do squat."
"DOHOHOHO-Waldorf? Where'd you go?"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:21 No.1569458
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>>1569453
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:23 No.1569470
"I knew I should've brought a R.A. Salvatore book with me here."
"Why's that?"
"So I could find a quick way to fall asleep."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:24 No.1569477
"When I see that elf, I'm glad I left my wife."
"You left your wife?"
"Yeah, I left her at home"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Now they're really getting desperate down there."
"Desperation is a good sign. Maybe they'll panic and run away."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"I love that fighter."
"That little bundle of talent is the only thing that'll keep this fight going."
"Shall we kill her now before she ruins everything?"
"DOHOHOHOHO!"

"You're doing it wrong!"
"Yeah, we're supposed to sit up hear and throw things at YOU!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:24 No.1569479
"I wish I was a high-level wizard. I could Wish for this fight to end"
"That spell can only do so much!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:26 No.1569491
>>1569453

I cackled.
>> Edward !F8wHraWURw 04/20/08(Sun)18:26 No.1569492
"I think I missed what just happened"
"You want me to tell you?"
"Please God don't"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:26 No.1569497
"You know what feat would be real good about now?"
"What?"
"Quicken Fight."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:28 No.1569507
"I wish they were all rogues."
"Why's that?"
"So they could all hide in plain site."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:28 No.1569509
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>>1569453
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:28 No.1569510
"Oh shoot, I knew I forgot something!"
"What did you forget?"
"My potion of Blindness"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:28 No.1569512
"We couldn't enjoy this fight without that great fighter."
"Well, looks like even he has some limits, we still can't enjoy this fight!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:28 No.1569513
"That was different."
"I should say so, so many of these fights are long and boring."
"Yes, they've finally managed one short and boring."
"Does that mean they're getting better or worse?"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"You know, that was a sweet fight."
"Yes it was."
You know something else, I hate sweet fights!"
"DOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:30 No.1569526
"I bet that fighter down there is a two-copper whore."
"Why do you say that?"
"Sucks badly both in and out of the arena"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:32 No.1569541
After someone fumbles a ranged attack:

"Whoa! Bit of a misfire there!"
"Wouldn't be the first time I bet."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:33 No.1569548
"I just bet on the winner of this fight."
"What, the barbarian down there?"
"No, the first one to leave the arena."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:35 No.1569559
"So what did you think of that fight?"
"I liked it"
"You liked it?!" *bangs his head*
"No, I just wanted to see what you'd do if I said I did."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"That fighting style goes back a long ways."
"It didn't go back far enough. I could still see it!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"You know what trick I'd like that wizard to do?"
"What's that?"
"Make us disappear!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"I didn't know (Class/Race) could do that."
"Be that talented?"
"No, be that bad."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Now that he's gone will we ever forget him?"
"Who?"
"Well, uh.. what's his name."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

"Wake me when the fight starts."
"It's already been on for a while."
"Oh. Wake me when it's over."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:37 No.1569574
"This fight was stupid!"
"Boring!"
"Pointless!"
"We loved it!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:38 No.1569575
"I should just drop dead."
"What for?"
"To show them how it's done."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:38 No.1569582
I DOHO'd.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:39 No.1569586
"If a bard wrote about this fight, do you think it'd be an epic?"
"No, it'd be a tragedy."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:41 No.1569593
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>>1569586
I lol'd hard
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:41 No.1569594
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Archive this.
>> Edward !F8wHraWURw 04/20/08(Sun)18:42 No.1569598
"Quick, get me a legal child prostitute!"
"I didn't think you were into them that young"
"I'm not, I just want the paladin to fall!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:45 No.1569616
>>1569598
Fail.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:45 No.1569625
>>1569598
"That heckling was almost as bad as this fight."
"Almost?"
"Yeah. Nothing's as bad as this fight."
"DOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:47 No.1569637
"These fights should be archived."
"Whatever for?"
"Some people like sad stories."
"DOHOHOHOHO!"
>> aye Da Boss Loota !!jjTJ3iecc1N 04/20/08(Sun)18:49 No.1569647
Every GM who is going to steal this idea, say Aye.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:49 No.1569654
>>1569647
Fuck yeah aye
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:51 No.1569661
>>1569637
That one got me good.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:52 No.1569668
>>1569647

Aye...
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:53 No.1569673
"I'm getting to the end of my rope here."
"Don't worry. You're almost done with that noose."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:53 No.1569676
>>1569637
speaking of archiving...this thread needs a few more votes
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:54 No.1569683
>>1569676
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/1569027/
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:55 No.1569687
>>1569647

Aye, if my players ever head to a coliseum. Also trying to convince a local XCrawl DM to use it.
>> Blueshirt !!1OzoxYp5Bp0 04/20/08(Sun)18:56 No.1569705
>>1569647
If I'm ever using a coliseum, aye.

Best thread I've seen on any board for ages.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:57 No.1569721
"They should call this arena 'The Rack'."
"Why's that?"
"These fights are torture."
"DOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)18:59 No.1569734
"That ranger down there is fighting with two weapons."
"That's odd. She should learn how to fight with one first."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:00 No.1569741
>>1569647

Aye
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:02 No.1569756
>>1569734
brilliant.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:03 No.1569769
"Where's Death when you need him?"
"He's waiting for someone down there to land a hit."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Edward !F8wHraWURw 04/20/08(Sun)19:04 No.1569782
>>1569647
Aye, I in my eye
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:05 No.1569783
"I'd kill for this fight to end."
"At least you'd be killing!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:06 No.1569798
"They fight like children down there."
"You give them far too much credit."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:07 No.1569805
"I think someone down in the front just died."
"From a stray arrow?"
"No, from boredom."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Edward !F8wHraWURw 04/20/08(Sun)19:07 No.1569806
"They all fight like dairy farmers!"
"That's because you're looking out the window!"
"It's better than looking in the arena!"
"DOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:08 No.1569812
>>1569647
Aye...
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:11 No.1569844
>>1569683
Missing quite a bit of the thread there... any way to update it?
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:12 No.1569848
>>1569647
I'm a player, and I'm going to find a way to steal it. Two headed familiar, most likely.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:12 No.1569854
>>1569848
I'm thinking of a sentient double weapon myself
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:13 No.1569861
"Looks like that sorcerer has a Deck of Many Things."
"Too bad talent isn't one of them."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:13 No.1569866
I love how these jokes are funnier than the original Statler and Waldorf.
>> Edward !F8wHraWURw 04/20/08(Sun)19:15 No.1569880
"These people remind me of my own adventuring days"
"You were this bad?"
"Nope."
"DOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:16 No.1569888
And I'm spent.

All mine:
>>1569861
>>1569805
>>1569798
>>1569783
>>1569769
>>1569734
>>1569721
>>1569673
>>1569637
>>1569625
>>1569586
>>1569575
>>1569548
>>1569541
>>1569526
>>1569510
>>1569497
>>1569479
>>1569470
>>1569446
>>1569384
>>1569367
>>1569358
>>1569333
>>1569323
>>1569309
>>1569298
>>1569284
>>1569250
>>1569206
>>1569166
>>1569151
>>1569128
>>1569099
>>1569091

Some sucked, granted, but I had fun with it.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:20 No.1569915
>>1569888
Stop trying to take credit.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:21 No.1569924
>>1569915
Actually, I'm serious. Those posts are all mine.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:22 No.1569932
>>1569888
>>1569915
>>1569924
Who fucking cares? It was funny all the same.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:30 No.1570006
"I wish one of them would fire an arrow over here"
"Why?"
"I need something to gouge my eyes out with"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO"
>> Mr. Bubbles !!DLJ3bQ7yunJ 04/20/08(Sun)19:34 No.1570034
     File :1208734485.png-(190 KB, 450x341, happy.png)
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I love each and every one of you.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:36 No.1570041
>>1569647

Aye twice.

Once as a GM, and once as a player.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:42 No.1570085
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>>1569854

Stealing this idea for my campaign that isn't going to go to a coliseum!
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:43 No.1570088
>>1570085
"Would it kill our wielder to hit the ogre?"
"No, but it'd kill the ogre."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Weak, I know. I want to try the idea out myself too though.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:44 No.1570097
"He just dodged the bullette!"
"No he didn't."
"Oh?"
"He just jumped the shark!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)19:46 No.1570118
"He's sneaking around pretty well."
"Oops, not anymore!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"

I could so see this happening.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:02 No.1570224
"I wish that Cleric worshipped Erythnul"
"Why's that?"
"Because he'd actually kill someone"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:04 No.1570239
"Drizzt, the chaotic good drow, huh?"
"Would you like your scimitars now or would you like to find them?"
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHO"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:04 No.1570243
"Did I ever tell you about the time I told this guy about the Head of Vecna?"
"No, what happened?"
"We buried him the next day."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:05 No.1570245
>>1570239
God damn it Anon, now I have soda on my screen and keyboard
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:05 No.1570247
>>1569888
Someone doesn't understand the point of anon.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:07 No.1570259
"Does that Cleric worship Wee Jas or Nerull?"
"Definitely Nerull"
"How can you tell?"
"No one ever Worships Wee Jas!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:10 No.1570276
>>1570259
You just made a god cry.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:11 No.1570285
"Women make natural barbarians."
"How so?"
"They naturally go into a rage once a month."
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:13 No.1570296
>>1570259

Hey, my evil necromancer PRETENDS to worship her! That counts for something, right?
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:15 No.1570308
>>1570296
That's like cheating on your wife. Prepare for a lawsuit.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:16 No.1570312
"Man that Barbarian must have Horrible Strength"
"Why's that?"
"He can't even hit that Wizard!"
"DOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:17 No.1570318
>>1570085
GOD DAMN PLD/WHM DESTROYS EVERYTHING I CREATE
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:17 No.1570323
>>1570308
What would a divine lawsuit be like?
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:17 No.1570324
>>1570308

Ok, its that or parade around saying you worship an evil god of death in front of the town guard. I think pissing of a deity nobody loves is better than being drawn and quartered. Besides, Nerull knows I actually worship him, so he doesnt care.

anyway, back on topic:
"Look, theres a vendor in the crowd selling smelling salts!"
"To wake up the people who faint?"
"To wake up the people who fall asleep!"
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:34 No.1570404
>>1570259
You know I bet Wee Jas has the most Ur-Priests, because even though they're stealing magic it's still attention
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:35 No.1570409
>>1569647
aye x2.

>>1569854
That sounds fucking awesome. an intelligent two-bladed sword that makes these comments would be worth it.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:36 No.1570415
>>1570409
I'm still laughing at >>1570118 myself.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:38 No.1570423
>>1570409
Make one enchanted with 1d4(or whatever, make it level appropriate) bonus fire damage, and the other with lightning.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:39 No.1570427
     File :1208738340.gif-(10 KB, 160x160, agni et rudra.gif)
10 KB
>>1570423
OOPS FORGOT MY PIC
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)20:39 No.1570429
>>1569854
Statler and Waldorf: CE two-bladed sword
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)21:01 No.1570555
>>1570429
i would think CN, they dont care what happens, they are just gunna make fun of it
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)21:09 No.1570616
"This truly is a fight for the ages."
"Yep, the ages between six and nine."
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)21:17 No.1570669
>>1570555
But they hold a deep satirical hatred of all people
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)21:18 No.1570678
Also bear in mind they don't even really like each other that much, and apparently when their not making fun of stupidity, they argue all the time. Hell the only reason they hang out is that one of them is married to the others sister.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)21:19 No.1570685
They're the type of Chaotic Evil people that wouldn't destroy a party from the inside.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)21:21 No.1570698
>>1570669
hate =/= evil
im sure they are actually partally evil, but if you remember muppet treasure island, they save kermit and miss piggy when they fall off the cliffs, so they cant be all bad, just jerks
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)21:22 No.1570703
>>1570698
> hate =/= evil

Hextor would like a word with you.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)21:46 No.1570887
bump for awesome
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)21:47 No.1570899
Rule 34 on Statler and Waldorf.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)21:54 No.1570941
>>1570899
Oh dear god...

"Hey Waldorf, fucking you in the butt isn't so bad."
"Yeah? Well too bad I can't say the same about the show!"
"DOOOOHOHOHOHO"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)21:57 No.1570956
>>1570941
...

I just died a little inside.
>> !Ep8pui8Vw2 !moot/UIi/o 04/20/08(Sun)22:17 No.1571106
>>1570941
"I didn't know you suffered from premature ejaculation!"
"Premature for you, maybe!"
"DOOOOHOHOHOHOHO"

I feel dirty.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)22:25 No.1571170
...
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)22:33 No.1571235
     File :1208745191.jpg-(11 KB, 300x228, ghey.jpg)
11 KB
>>1570899
I suck at shoops.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)22:33 No.1571239
"They say that guy is a vengeful warrior who relentlessly cuts down anyone who dishonours him!"
"I wonder what the air did to make him so mad?"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)22:37 No.1571262
""That guy's famous for his fluid fighting style!"
"What's so fluid about it?"
"The contents of his britches, from the looks of it."
"DOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)22:41 No.1571288
"Hey, look at these idiots trying to sound like us."
"What a bunch of fat, pathetic virgins.
"Yeah, they'll never feel the touch of a woman in their entire lvies."
"DOHOHOHOHOH"
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)22:42 No.1571306
>>1571288
That was bad and you should feel bad.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)22:45 No.1571322
>>1571239
>>1571262

Conversely, these are good and make me feel good.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)23:14 No.1571486
i must print these out.. i intend to make a bard with this
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)23:41 No.1571614
These are awesome.
>> Anonymous 04/20/08(Sun)23:52 No.1571687
"What do you get when you breed an ogre and a troll together"
"What"
"I don't know, but it would be much easier to look at than this fight"
"DOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>> Anonymous 04/21/08(Mon)00:03 No.1571753
>>1569027

Fucking saved